Troian Bellisario Opens Up About Past & Insecurities in Seventeen Magazine

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troianbellisario-seventeen-010714Troian Bellisario has landed her first magazine cover with the new February issue of Seventeen magazine.

In the issue, Troian opens up for the first time about her past struggles with self-harm and an eating disorder and more.

On what makes her feel the most beautiful: “I love being natural. I never feel more beautiful then after I’ve been to the beach and my hair’s just a crazy mess of salt curls, or when I’ve just been outside all day hiking. I feel like my skin is at its most beautiful during those times, too—so I try not to do a lot.”

On how she responds to people saying ‘she’s perfect’: “I’ve heard fans say that I’m perfect on the show and I want to tell them I’ve been through two hours of hair and makeup. Don’t hold yourself up to that!”

On being a teenager: “I started self-harming when I was a junior. I would withhold food or withhold going out with my friends, based on how well I did that day in school.…I didn’t know what was right and what was wrong, so I think I created this bizarre system of checks and balances to create order in my world. But it really backfired.”

On the differences between Spencer and herself: “Sometimes I feel like I’m trying too hard, like I don’t belong. I just look around at Lucy [Hale], Shay [Mitchell], and Ashley [Benson], and I’m just like, Why am I on this show? Sometimes I’ve felt like a fraud. Like, I’m not like these other girls – I don’t dress like that and don’t know how to do my hair. The minute I’m off that stage, I try to get as “me” as possible. I do that by piling on my black eyeliner, and I put on my ripped tights. Dressing like myself again helps.”

On what makes her happiest now: “My friends and my family – the people who I love and who love me back. Whenever I get down, when I want to crawl under a rock, I just look around at them and I see how rich my life is. You have to remember what’s most important in life. I am loved by so many people and have a wonderful job. I know I’m incredibly blessed. I am a completely lucky human being.”

For more, be sure to pick up the February issue.